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weird/funny updates from twitter

.Just woke up. Had an awesome dream about riding a flying dolphin thru a dense forest of pubic hair.

Watching a porno where horses screw dead chicks. It’s even more f#@4*d up than it sounds.

Horny internet creeps rule. Stop telling me I have nice tits, I’m a fuckin’ dude. I already know my tits are nice

When my nipples are hard, they stick out 4 inches. It’s a medical condition, but it’s also super fun at parties.

X says “If at first you don’t succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.”

X can’t find Sesame Street on her GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?

X is thinking she could definitely meet her weight loss goal if she had to pedal to use the computer!

X says we could merge My Space, Facebook, You Tube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.

X My goal was to be a totally lazy slug today. So far, I’m totally meeting that goal and surpassing my expectations:-)

X Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper

X just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last

I wish Michael Jackson never died. Almost 2 weeks after his death and people still won’t STFU about it.

could build a house out of Oreo Cakesters, I’d be homeless in a day. Get it? I’d eat ’em all, du&ba$$.

f you happen to ACCIDENTALLY look at a man’s penis in the gym showers, it’s not gay to compliment him on it. “That’s a healthy penis, Jim!”

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About itrixboy

a blogger who likes to blog about stuff i saw or simply things i want to and i know your saying im like every blogger out there but im not im something fresh,creative and new!

Discussion

One thought on “weird/funny updates from twitter

  1. LOL wow weird, funny updates from twitter XD, =D XDXDXDXD

    Posted by alienone | 02/14/2010, 5:04 am
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