Watching a porno where horses screw dead chicks. It’s even more f#@4*d up than it sounds.
Horny internet creeps rule. Stop telling me I have nice tits, I’m a fuckin’ dude. I already know my tits are nice
When my nipples are hard, they stick out 4 inches. It’s a medical condition, but it’s also super fun at parties.
X says “If at first you don’t succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.”
X can’t find Sesame Street on her GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?
X is thinking she could definitely meet her weight loss goal if she had to pedal to use the computer!
X says we could merge My Space, Facebook, You Tube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.
X My goal was to be a totally lazy slug today. So far, I’m totally meeting that goal and surpassing my expectations:-)
X Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper
X just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last
I wish Michael Jackson never died. Almost 2 weeks after his death and people still won’t STFU about it.
could build a house out of Oreo Cakesters, I’d be homeless in a day. Get it? I’d eat ’em all, du&ba$$.
f you happen to ACCIDENTALLY look at a man’s penis in the gym showers, it’s not gay to compliment him on it. “That’s a healthy penis, Jim!”